eGZact as … or not

Stuff and shit… from all over the web

Posts Tagged ‘fun’

The Babysitter

Posted by eGZact on June 19, 2008

A must see movie. 

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/132051/ff902859/gs_korte_film.html 

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The sister

Posted by eGZact on May 27, 2008

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her ‘little’ sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.  Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, ‘I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and

get me.’ I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.  Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, ‘We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter . Welcome to the family.’

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

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Looser

Posted by eGZact on May 12, 2008

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Drink without prejudice

Posted by eGZact on May 7, 2008

If you were  around in 1919 (just before prohibition started) you might have seen  the following poster.  

 

Drink without prejudice

 

Now honestly,  would you quit drinking?

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Bush Blair Endless Love

Posted by eGZact on May 5, 2008

Some people say that this is the best video ever with George W. Bush 😀

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Bubba J and Jeff Dunham

Posted by eGZact on May 5, 2008

 

AA is for quitters :))

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Smell me

Posted by eGZact on May 5, 2008

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Baby face… wtf?

Posted by eGZact on May 5, 2008

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Warning

Posted by eGZact on May 1, 2008

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Latest Gadget

Posted by eGZact on April 29, 2008

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Dirty Mind

Posted by eGZact on April 29, 2008

Your dirty mind

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Jewish Divorce

Posted by eGZact on April 25, 2008

 

A Jewish woman says to her mother: ” I’m divorcing Sheldon, all he wants is anal sex and my asshole is now the size of a 50 cent piece when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece.”

Jewish Mother says: “You are married to a multi-millionaire businessman, you live in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive a Ferrari, you get $2000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away for 45 cents?

 

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No comment

Posted by eGZact on April 25, 2008

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Where the Easter Eggs come from

Posted by eGZact on April 25, 2008

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Japanese Rice Art

Posted by eGZact on April 25, 2008

 

The residents of Inakadate have been drawing pictures with rice since 1993.  Each year farmers in the town of Inakadatein Aomori prefecture create works of crop art by growing a little purple and yellow-leafed kodaimai rice along with their local green-leafed tsugaru-roman variety.

Views of Mount Fuji

This year’s creation — a pair of grassy reproductions of famous woodblock prints from Hokusai’s 36 Views of Mount Fuji — has begun to appear and will be visible until the rice is harvested in September.

While Inakadate is Japan’s most famous rice paddy decorating town, there practice is spreading further ‘afield.’

 

 

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Boycott Beijing 2008

Posted by eGZact on April 24, 2008

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Elections | Vote for NOBODY

Posted by eGZact on April 24, 2008

This is the best candidate ever for all kind of elections:

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Larry’s tattoo

Posted by eGZact on April 24, 2008

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, “Where in the hell have you been?”
Larry replies, “I was out getting a tattoo.”

“A tattoo?” she frowned. “What kind of tattoo did you get?”
“I got a hundred Euro note on my privates,” he said proudly.
“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in disdain. “Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred Euro note tattooed on his privates?”
“Well, for one…I like to watch my money grow. Two…once in a while I like to play with my money. Three…I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly…instead of you going out wasting money on shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow 100 Euro anytime you want.”

Larry is recovering nicely in hospital

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Death to America | Positively Priceless!!!

Posted by eGZact on April 23, 2008

Read the following explanation before looking at the picture! 

Most Syrians struggle to even read Arabic, much less have a clue about English. So, how do a group of Syrian protest leaders create the most impact with their signs by having the standard “Death To Americans” (etc.) slogans printed in English?

Answer: They simply hire an English-speaking civilian to translate and write their statements into English.

Unfortunately, in this case, they were unaware that the “civilian” insurance company employee hired for the job was a retired US Army Sergeant! Obviously, pictures of this protest rally never made their way to Arab TV networks, but the results were PRICELESS! 

 

 

Death to America

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The Importance of Good Grammar

Posted by eGZact on November 1, 2007

Al is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor, who tries a few things but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

The medicine man says, “I can cure this.” That said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.

Then he says, “This is powerful medicine. You can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say ‘123’ and it shall rise for as long as you wish!”

Al asks, “What happens when it’s over, and I don’t want to continue?”

The medicine man replies: “All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned — it will not work again for another year!”

Al rushes home, eager to try out his new powers and prowess. That night he is ready to surprise Donna. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion. He gets into bed, and lying next to her says, “123.”

He suddenly becomes more aroused than any time in his life … just as the medicine man had promised.

Donna, who had been facing away, turns over and asks, “What did you say 123 for?”

And that, my friends, is why you shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition.

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Positive thinking

Posted by eGZact on October 31, 2007

Positive thinking

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Dogs really hates Holloween

Posted by eGZact on October 31, 2007

I hate Holloween

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